They’d been married for just over a year, and already the fairytale glow had faded.
James and Claire were no strangers to bickering, but lately, it felt like every conversation had the potential to turn into an argument.
Money was tight. Work was stressful. And small annoyances — once just quirks — were now the start of World War III.
The Pizza Incident
It was a Friday night. Claire had been dreaming about pizza all week — her order, just the way she liked it: thin crust, extra cheese, pepperoni.
James had been given one job. One. Job. Order the pizza.
When the doorbell rang, Claire was ready for bliss. But when she opened the box… pineapple. Pineapple on half the pizza.
Claire blinked. “Why is there pineapple on my half?”
James shrugged. “Thought we could share.”
That was it. The floodgates opened.
When the Small Things Become Big Things
It wasn’t really about the pineapple. It was about the laundry he never folded, the way she always left the bathroom light on, the dinners where they barely spoke.
The argument spiralled:
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“You never listen to me!”
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“You’re always criticising me!”
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“Why do you insist on doing things your way?”
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“Why do you need everything your way?”
Voices got louder. The pizza went cold.
By the time they stopped, the room was icy. Claire sat on the edge of the sofa, arms folded. James paced the floor, hands in his pockets. Neither could see a way forward.
James’ Moment of Madness (or Genius)
James left the room without a word. Claire thought he’d gone to sulk in the bedroom. Instead, he came back holding a slim paperback with a bold, ridiculous title:
“How to Win an Argument with Your Wife”
Claire narrowed her eyes. “Really?”
The Twist
James walked over, handed her the book, and sat down opposite her without saying a word.
Claire flipped it open. Blank.
Every single page.
The corners of her mouth twitched. “This… is actually funny.”
James grinned. “It’s the most honest marriage manual ever written.”
She laughed. Properly. The tension cracked, and suddenly they were just two people who’d lost sight of the joke.
From Laughter to Honesty
The laughter faded into a quiet conversation. They admitted they’d been carrying a lot of resentment over small things. James promised to stick to her pizza order. Claire promised to remember that sometimes pineapple doesn’t mean betrayal.
On the first page, she wrote:
Rule #1: It’s never about the pizza.
Later That Evening
They reheated the pizza and ate it together, pineapple included. They agreed it still tasted better than eating in silence.
The book stayed on the coffee table. Claire decided it would be their “argument journal” — a place to write down the real issues underneath the silly ones.
The Moral
Sometimes, relationships need a serious talk. But other times?
They just need a laugh that reminds you you’re still on the same side.
💬 Final Call to Action
🎁 Want to win an argument with your wife?
Spoiler: You can’t. But you can make her laugh.
📘 Get “How to Win an Argument with Your Wife” on Amazon here
✅ 100 blank pages
✅ The most honest marriage guide ever printed
✅ May improve pizza-related disputes
Because sometimes, the way back to each other is through a joke you both understand.